Terrell Voltz: You have done the right thing! I really don't think you have cause to feel guilty at all. Everything you say about working on your mental health sounds so positive. It sounds like you've been working really hard and had a lot of success! It's not just your right to look after your health - it's your responsibility! It's always very sad to see those we once cared for hurting themselves, and it sounds like this is what your ex boyfriend is doing. Sacrificing your own wellbeing for his (and I believe that if a person is being negative and destructive, the only person who can make big changes for them is the person themselves) would not solve any problems - it would double them. It sounds a bit like he wants you to be with him no matter how unhappy it might be making you. Does this show you that he really cares about you? Or is it perhaps a bit selfish of him? It sounds like the guilt you are feeling is what he wants you to feel. He might believe that if he can! make you feel guilty then he can control what you do or who you are. Of course you care for him and he might not be all bad - but this behaviour toward you is bad. It's just not fair. People who behave like this don't just stop either. The only way to take away their negative influence is to put distance between you and the person. Again, I think you've done the right thing!Taking a step back from his problems is more than ok, it's the right thing to do. If his doesn't turn things around, it's sad, but it's really his own responsibility....Show more
Tawny Grosskreutz: Look, you're not the selfish one here. You're taking care of yourself- there is a difference.There's obviously trouble coming his way: legal problems, threats... and you realise that some of his behaviour towards you could count as abuse, right? And it seems to me like the kind of situation that could eventually escalate. Not somewhere you want to be.Either way, he is not a good person to have in your ! life. He obviously has some issues of his own that he needs to! work out, and if he can't do that, it'll be hard for you to work on yours. Focus on getting yourself better and hope he does the same....Show more
Lester Haschke: Q: When is it considered ok to be selfish? When that selfishness neither harms yourself nor others and when it is healthy.Q: Did I do what was the best thing to do, or was I being inconsiderate? Personally I think that your timing was really bad, its bad enough loosing your job, but also loosing a relationship at the same time can be devastating. Hopefully he will get back onto his feet and find another girlfriend soon.Q: Am I really selfish, or is this finaly the stand I should have taken months ago? You should have done this months ago....Show more
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